I have never been thin. Actually, that's
a lie. My mom said I was quite skinny until the age of 4. When she went into the hospital to have my little sister,
they shipped me off to my grandparents where apparently all I ate were cookies and ice cream. There began my life of being
a chunk-a-lunk.
I was always an overweight child or as they
say in the Sears girls' department, I was "pleasantly plump". My mom swears it was *pleasantly
plus but regardless, it is a really cute way of saying, "You're fat."
Through middle school I remember watching
what I ate and taking exercise classes with my mom. I was always middle of the road popular so I was fortunate to never
have been the butt of cruel jokes.
In high school I became even more aware
of my weight. At 5'5" and 196 lbs. my junior year, I decided to do something (mainly to impress boys.) I began
running a few blocks, then a few more until eventually I reached 2 miles. I also began eating a diet that consisted
of 18 points a day. I wasn't doing Weight Watchers back then but since I only ate about 5 different foods, it is pretty
easy to calculate the points. I got down to a size 10 and 155 lbs. I looked smashing. Sadly, my self-esteem
never caught up to my new look. All of my friends were between size 2 and size 6 and I felt the need to get there.
I went on LA weight loss and during the summer after my senior year, I'd lost three pounds. (WHOO FREAKING HOO.) Since
the program was guaranteed (I was supposed to lose 20 lbs.) I thought for sure that I would get back the 600 bucks my parents
had given me for graduation. No such luck. Apparently I had regular mayonnaise one day instead of fat-free so
CLEARLY I wasn't following the program and didn't qualify for the guarantee. Bastards.
I started college that August.
I was out of shape (LA weight loss told me to stop exercising as I would just be putting muscle on and not losing fat.
Makes a WHOLE lot of sense now....um yeah.) and not good at handling change. I met my first long-term boyfriend
and the combination of stress and contentment was the absolute worst for my body. Thanks to the lovely dorm food in
East Halls (and the piggish way I scarfed it down nightly) I gained 70 lbs. between October and March of my freshman year. A
whopping 224 lbs! (They say the freshman 15 but hell, I have always been an overachiever.)
My junior year of college I tried doing
WW on my own, following a friend's booklet. I lost 30 lbs and hung out in the 190's until I moved to Oregon two years
ago. Once again change, (I REALLY need to learn to deal with that better) and Seth's grandma's cooking launched me back
into the 220's. At 226 I started my weight loss journey in February 2003. After a bout with the Atkins diet, I
began WW with a new determination in August of 2003 at 208.8. It has been a long, hard and SLOW journey but I am in
this for the long haul. I need my outside to match my inside. I will be a healthy weight. I will be confident.
I will be an inspiration to myself and others, I will finally, be me.
* It has been brought to my attention that the fat girls section
of Sears was/is called "pretty plus". Whether pretty or pleasant, "plus" I am no more! :)
